Stupid, Stupid, Stupid
by littlechivalry
Summary: Every morning after needs a night before. Oneshot prequel to No Class Today. Rated for language and slight naughtiness of the slashy variety. HPDM mentioned SFBZ, SFPP, and BZSFPP. My that Seamus gets around.


**Disclaimer- **I don't own them. But if you think I do… Feel free to give me five dollars. Then maybe sign yourself up for a little mental health breakdown.

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**Stupid, Stupid, Stupid**

Seamus was good; Harry had to give him that. The Irish boy had all of the tricks down, waiting until everyone was asleep, holding his shoes instead of wearing them, and leaving bulky robes in his trunk so they would snag anything or knock it over.

Still, he wasn't that good.

"Where are you going, Finnegan?"

A dull thud as trainers hit the stone floor and Ron snuffled something, but didn't wake.

"Harry? Is that you?"

Harry moved out from behind the curtains, leaving the invisibility cloak on the floor, but marking it's location in his head so he would be able to find it again.

"You're going to the Slytherin party, aren't you?"

"Well… Yeah."

"And they're actually letting a Griffindor attend? I'm a little surprised."

"That's why I go so late. By now they're all half in the bag and they don't much care whether the bloke on the next couch is a Griffindor, a Ravenclaw, or a giant squid as long as he can hold his drink."

"That makes sense. And I'm sure the fact that Hermione would kill you if she knew has no bearing on the matter."

The boy sighed, "You know how it is. Ever since first year she's thought she was our mother. Ron has to put up with it, but as I don't want to get into her pants I don't see why I should have to listen."

Harry smiled at the boy, "So if she asks where you were, you're going to tell her?"

"Of course," Seamus scoffed, then grinned at his friend, "But if she doesn't ask, there's nothing to tell. Right, Harry?"

"Right, Seamus."

Picking up his shoes again, the boy made his way out of the room and presumably, out of the dorm. Harry gave him until the count of ten before he picked up his cloak and left.

The Room of Requirement was quiet. A fireplace was the only light and flames dancing against the walls showed no one else in there. Harry hooked the cloak on a coatrack that had grown up out of the floor as he reached for it and made his way to the large couch set in the middle of the room.

As he got closer he saw the glitter of blond hair reflecting firelight and he waited.

"You took your time, Potter."

The voice was familiar, only the second wizard he's ever met and the first his own age, but the tone was new. No longer sneering and cold, it had warmed up over nights in this room, in front of this fire.

Harry walked around the couch and settled on the floor, leaning back against warm legs. Closing his eyes, he answered, "I had to wait for Seamus to leave."

Mock surprise and warm laughter warred for control in Draco's response, "A Griffindor? Sneaking out of his dorm in the middle of a Monday night? Whatever is the wizarding world coming to?"

Practically purring under the sensation of strong fingers running over his scalp, Harry said, "It's worse than you think. He's going to the Slytherin party. Truly, we are doomed."

"I wonder who he'll end up with this time. I believe it was Blaise last time, and Pansy before that. Or was it Pansy _and_ Blaise before that and Pansy alone the time previous? You know, he has a lot of stamina for a Griffindor."

"I'm not sure if I should be insulted or jealous at this point. Are you trying to imply that I'm not enough for you, Mr. Malfoy," Harry asked as he slid his hand up behind him, caressing the boys' thigh.

"Oh, no, Mr. Potter. You are more than enough for me—," the rest of the remark was broken off by a gusty yawn. Opening his eyes and pulling himself up to the couch proper, Harry looked at his boyfriend properly for the first time.

Harry affected a pout, "I can't believe you're bored with me already, Draco."

"It's not you, Harry. I just have a lot to do. I would have stayed in my dorm but I didn't want to be surrounded by naked Slytherins."

Harry smiled, "I don't know why. I never minded."

"Well, the only naked Slytherin you've seen is me. Imagine Crabbe or Goyle swinging past you on the way to the loo."

"I'd rather not. How about a drink, then we can just… sleep." Harry kept his tone light, teasing. He wanted Draco, but if he was really that tired, he could wait.

"I don't know Harry. You've never been able to hold your liquor," Draco's voice bubbled with laughter, "I still remember that time you got all giggly after a few butterbeers, and I had to tell you they were non-alcoholic!"

Harry had to wait to respond because his boyfriend was almost literally choking with laughter.

"Oh, you should have seen your face! You were so disappointed!" The laughter tapered off, then picked up again when Draco caught sight of Harry's scowl.

Ten minutes later it had faded to only the occasional snort and Harry was relieved, the blond boy looked better, more relaxed.

"I'm glad that was so entertaining for you. And how was I supposed to know anyway? It isn't that I'd had so much experience with alcohol before. Muggle or wizarding."

Draco made another inelegant snort, "Muggle alcohol. You might as well drink water."

"And how do you know, Mr. Malfoy? I can't imagine you sitting down in front of a pint."

"How much punch could it have? I mean, it's made by muggles, for Merlin's sake."

"Well, what did you expect, elves? It's liquor, not cookies. Anyway, the only way you can have a proper opinion of muggle alcohol is to try some."

"Potter, I'll drink anything you put in front of me."

Harry pictured the first alcohol bottle that came to mind, cognac. It was the only thing the Dursley's drank at home, just a small glass every now and again. Harry had snuck a sip once, out of curiosity, and after his eyes stopped burning, he promised himself he would never drink again.

He hadn't really meant it.

The bottle was small and dark, and from a distance all Harry and Draco could smell was the mild woody aroma. Harry conjured a small glass, and Draco laughed and changed it to a brandy snifter the size of a punch bowl to Harry's eyes.

"What do you need that for Malfoy?"

"I'm trying to prove a point, Harry," he answered as he poured the bottle out into the glass.

"Just try it first, okay?"

"Why, Potter, are you scared? It's muggle liquor, not acid. I'll be fine."

At the first sip, Harry saw a shine in Draco's eyes, but the boy didn't stop. He tipped the glass up higher. A few gulps later, he had to support the globe with both hands, and the tearing in his eyes was obvious.

The last few drops trickled slowly down the side of the glass and Draco threw it down, gasping.

Harry had watched the whole process with wide eyes. He knew the Slytherin was proud, but he still expected him to give up.

"I cannot believe you just did that."

"Me neither. Why the hell do muggles drink that rubbish?" A light flush began to spread over the boys face and he pulled at the collar of his shirt. "It's a bit warm in here, isn't it?"

"Not really, Draco."

"Then maybe I'm getting sick."

"You will be tomorrow."

"No, I'm feverish, you have to feel my forehead," with bright eyes the Slytherin stepped closer, and closer still until he was only one alcohol tinged breath away.

Harry stepped back and tried to get his bearings, "You're drunk. One drink, well one bottle and you're drunk."

Draco sighed and collapsed on the couch, "Okay, I'm drunk. _In vino veritas_. And I'm very warm. So I am going to take my clothes off. And I'm horny, which is probably a combination of the alcohol and the company, so I'm probably going to wank. If you would like to join me, feel free. If you would rather watch, that works too, and if you want to leave, I can survive without you.

Harry watched the other boy slowly unbutton his shirt, hands heavy and slow from the alcohol, and his fingers itched to help.

Finally, he gave in, "Alright, but I want you to remember that all of this was your idea tomorrow."

The Slytherin had managed to get his pants open, and Harry fumbled for the other boy's cock as he tried to open his shirt one-handed.

The first touch of flesh against flesh, and Draco sighed, "Fuck me."

"Anytime, love."

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**Note**: Thank you to everyone who reviewed No Class Today. Originally it was a one-shot, but the response was so awesome I was inspired. I hope you enjoyed.


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